Week 1, Day 2

This is technically the first day of my diet, but it is day 2 in terms of me really starting the program.

Today has been a sort of whatever day so far--eating wise, I've had instant oatmeal, a banana, and a butter croissant--the kind you get at Sam's club. Holy crap, was I surprised to learn that croissant was 7 points. In a way, it was sort of a validating experience though--like, I can be kind of a know-it-all about food and stuff, so to be shocked like this (I thought the croissant would be 4 or 5 points MAX) kind of puts me in place, and I think will help contribute to me sticking to this plan.

I did go grocery shopping today--and got into a mini-fight/meltdown in the store with boyfriend. I don't want to give this impression that he is not supportive, because he is amazing, but I just sort of lost my temper over an exchange that went a little like this:

B: Can we get Macaroni and Cheese?

M: Well no. It's really not good for my diet.

B: Well you don't have to eat it.

I just sort of lost it a little, because--even though he completely didn't mean to be nasty, and even though I was being a little bratty about things--I just feel like sometimes people don't realize that I DO have to eat it. When food is around, I just obsess about it, and I get really frustrated when I feel like I can't eat something--so frustrated that I end up eating it out of this weird spite.

--

I just made a double boca burger, and I'm happy with how it turned out--I mean, it was definitely thrown together, but it filled me up. The burger was 7 points total--over half of that was the bun.

I went swimming, but not very actively. I didn't do laps or anything. Now, I'm making some HG bread pudding--that will give me 6 more points, which will bring my total of the day up to like 23.

I've also had about 4 glasses of water so far--good for me. I would kill for a diet coke, but we don't have any.

As a final note for the evening, I really want to make sure I start eating more balanced food groups. Like, today it was basically grain products. I want to be eating way more fruits and veggies. Now that that's said, I'm feeling really tired and ready to just kick back and watch boyfriend play Silent Hill 3.

Week 1, Day 1

This blog, like so many out there, is a weight loss blog. Today is the day I start losing weight--my plan, weight watchers, exercise, and a positive attitude. That last part will probably be the hardest.

I have so many issues with weight and weight loss, which I am sure I will talk about in great detail at some point during this journey. But for now, I'm gonna lay down some basics--my stats, my goals, my points value via WW. I will use this blog to track what I eat and what kind of exercise I do, and I will also chart my feelings, grocery lists, issues, whatever.

Okay, down to the nitty-gritty.

I weighed in today at 196.8. I want to give a little weight history here--this is almost the heaviest I've ever weighed. The heaviest I've ever weighed is 200, which was like...a couple of weeks ago. So this is basically the heaviest I ever weighed.

So I said I wasn't going to get into a long thing here but I guess I lied.

I'm not sure what my number was when I was at my thinnest. All I know is that the last time I can remember feeling really good about my weight was Christmas 2007. I had been feeling good about my self since basically the beginning of the summer, and that fall-winter I was at my best. It's when I met Rick for the first time. Here is a picture of me that Christmas.

My struggle began shortly after that--I'm not exactly sure what happened, but it happened really fast--stress, holidays, whatever, I had gained weight and was in the mid 160s by late February 2008.

I stayed in the 160s for quite some time. I remember struggling with it over the summer, being frustrated that I couldn't seem to get firmly under 165. I had no idea what was happening to me. And I had a tough year of school in store. By March 2008, I had my second weight wake-up call--I weighed 174. I remember being DEVESTATED by this. I SWORE I would NEVER get over 174, and I started calorie counting and trying to work out. From then until September 2009, I fluctuated between 170-165. This is a picture of me from the road trip moving out here:

This is when shit gets real. From like. January of 2008-September 2009, I estimate that I gained a totally of 30 pounds. That's 30 pounds in 1 and a half years. However, since moving from New York to California to present (September 2009-September 2010) I've gone from 174, to 200. That's 25 pounds in a year! What's really crazy is most of that was accomplished in the first 6 months---the last 6 months I've been TRYING to lose weight. Here is a recent picture of me.

Man, is it hard for me to look at the first picture and last picture together.

So here I am, starting weight watchers. I'm 196.8 today. I think that my ultimate goal is 140. That's 56.8 pounds. Whew.

WW asks you to start smaller with you goals. This makes sense. It says to start with trying to lose 5% of your starting weight, and then 10 %.

5% of my starting weight is: 9.5 pounds, which would bring me down to 187.3. Gotta say, that doesn't sound great, but I haven't been under 190 in a while, so I'm happy to start somewhere.

10% of my starting weight is: 19 pounds. That would take me down to 177.8.

So I guess that's what I'm working on right now-losing 9.5 pounds.

WHEW. OKAY. THAT WAS LONG.

My next step, I think, is to plan out my meals for the rest of the week and then go grocery shopping.